Session 10 Lay Counseling Training last October 13, 2026

 

Key Outcomes

The session introduced Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN) as an invisible force shaping adult behavior, using a case study and a 22-item self-assessment questionnaire. Participants learned that scoring 6 or above "yes" answers indicates CEN, and that its effects — though rooted in childhood — manifest in adult life. The facilitator emphasized that healing is possible but is a long, ongoing process, with full healing reserved for heaven.

Decisions Made

• No breakout rooms from Module 3 through Module 8; replaced with personal, confidential seatwork and reflection 1
• Questionnaire results are not to be collected or shared — participants are not required to disclose their scores 2
• From Module 9 onward, contemporary issues will be discussed in small groups 3

Key Concepts Covered

• CEN is an invisible force: Unlike physical neglect, CEN leaves no visible signs and is rarely recognized — even by those who suffered it 4
• Scoring threshold: 5 or below = no CEN; 6 or above = CEN present 5
• "Running on Empty" (Dr. Jonice Webb) is the reference book for the module; available on Shopee for under ₱200 3
• Counter-transference: If a counselor's own unresolved issues are triggered by a counselee, objectivity is compromised — a core reason self-processing is required 1
• "You cannot pour from an empty cup": Counselors must process their own issues before effectively helping others 2
• Governing scripts: Internalized beliefs (e.g., "I am stupid," "I am not lovable") formed in childhood that silently sabotage adult potential 6

12 Parenting Types That Cause CEN

Narcissistic, Authoritarian, Permissive, Bereaved, Addicted, Depressed, Workaholic, Parent with special-needs family member, Achievement/Perfection-focused, Sociopathic, Parentified child dynamic, and Well-meaning but self-neglected parents 789

Case Study Highlights (Carlito)

• An 8-year-old hyperactive boy sent home with a note for talking back to his teacher 10
• His mother modeled emotionally attuned parenting: listened first, validated feelings (embarrassed, frustrated, hard), named emotions, held him accountable without shaming 111213
• Participants noted the mother's approach seemed "too good to be true" but confirmed it is doable 14
• Key lesson: naming a child's emotion gives them vocabulary to self-regulate in the future 12

Q&A Highlights

• Q (Michelle): How do you distinguish CEN from trauma like bullying?

  A: CEN is caused by significant caregiving adults; bullying is a separate issue. The intake session ("Tell me about your childhood") helps trace root causes. Effects of CEN in adult life will be covered next Saturday. 1516

• Q (Sarah): How long does healing take?

  A: Depends on how hard one works; full healing does not happen on earth. One counselee has been in counseling for 5 years and is better but not fully healed. 1718

• Q (Jonel): Is CEN the same as damaged emotions?

  A: No — CEN is more specific; it is the umbrella under which the 7 pressure patterns and 4 abuse issues fall. These will be addressed in Modules 5 and 6. 1920

• Q (Michelle): Can issues exist that did not stem from childhood?

  A: There are 7 pressure patterns + 4 abuse issues = 12 emotional damage types to be covered in upcoming modules. 1921

Pending Confirmation

• Full breakdown of effects of CEN on adult life — to be discussed next Saturday 22
• 7 pressure patterns + 4 abuse issues → 12 emotional damage types — covered in Modules 5 & 6 19

Action Items

• All participants: Complete the CEN questionnaire honestly; reflect privately on results 23
• All participants: Begin processing personal CEN with God in prayer; do not blame parents 2224
• All participants: Optionally acquire Running on Empty by Dr. Jonice Webb for deeper reading 3

Session 9 Lay Counselling Training Session | October 10, 2026

Key Outcomes

The session established that the family is the primary ministry for any believer, emphasizing that spiritual leadership at home must precede public ministry 1. Participants discussed the importance of unconditional love and the need for corrective emotional experiences to support children who have experienced the loss of a parent 23.

Biblical Examples of Attachment

• Sarah and Isaac: Highlighted as an example of long-awaited attachment 4.
• Rebecca and Jacob: Used to warn against favoritism, which creates emotional unfairness among children 4.
• Mary and Jesus: Exemplified the "Holy Family" and the importance of not rushing into public ministry, as Jesus waited 30 years 45.
• Lois, Eunice, and Timothy: Demonstrated the power of family-led scriptural education in preparing a child for ministry 5.
• The Prodigal Son: Illustrated the necessity of unconditional love and the role of a father in maintaining an unbreakable emotional attachment 25.

Principles for Parenting and Ministry

• Priority of Home: Leaders must manage their own families effectively to be fit for church or mission work; the family is the "first member" of one's ministry 16.
• Spiritual Responsibility: Based on Genesis 18, fathers are responsible for directing their households to keep the way of the Lord 2.
• Balance: Believers must balance family and ministry to prevent children from viewing the church or God as a "rival" 6.
• Spiritual Warfare: The family that fears God is a primary target for Satan, who seeks to steal joy and destroy relationships 7.

Guidance for Fatherless Children

• Corrective Emotional Experience: For children missing a father, it is recommended to find a positive male role model (e.g., a relative, church leader, or neighbor) to provide emotional strength 38.
• Non-Biological Support: Support does not have to be blood-related; "adopted" spiritual parents can serve as corrective emotional figures 3.
• Handling Grief: Children, especially eldest children who had strong bonds with a deceased parent, may require more time and patience to develop new attachments 910.

 

JC3 Professorial Accreditation Orientation last October 9, 2026

COIL Webinar last October 8, 2026

 

Wednesday DGroup Meeting