Moving Forward

 “The truth is unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” These lines from the book of Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You (Reflections on Life and the Human Experience), struck me as an apt way to introduce myself. Because I have encountered many challenges in life and I have survived it all. Tonight, I am here to share with you my story about how I moved forward in life and how my life was changed through my faith in Jesus Christ Our Saviour. 

I am Jennifer Erazo Hinlo, 33 years old, married with 3 daughters. I am a college instructor. I joined toastmasters to enhance my public speaking and leadership skills.  

I was born in Lucena, Prosperidad, Agusan del Sur, during the time of the EDSA Revolution when there was a plebiscite election in 1986. I grew up in Davao City and studied here from kindergarten to college. As a student, I was very competitive and received some special awards during that time. A lot of people expected me to be perfect. The obedient daughter, an excellent student and a friendly and caring neighbor. But, I was so pressured to live up to their expectations. I was afraid to fail. 

One month after my college graduation, I was able to have a job in 2007. While working, my parents expected me to provide for the family and help my brother financially to pursue his studies. All was well, but only one year after working, my parents' dream for me, to give them a better life, was shattered. Because in 2008, I got pregnant and got married at age of 22. Being a young mom, who is just starting a career, it’s a daily struggle to provide for the daily needs of your family. Because given that I have a family of my own, I am still supporting my parents and brother. With these expenses, I incurred debts in order to support our needs. One debt to another - I had applied for loans to pay for my other loans. This has resulted in a cycle of debt trap. It was not easy to let go of debts because I was working on a negative cash flow, because of spending beyond my means. 

Because of this, I was so consumed with the problems I faced at work and at home. I was so stressed. I struggled financially, emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually. To make ends meet, my husband and I had part-time jobs on the weekends. With all of this work, I had sacrificed my time with my family, friends, and in going to church. I was so tired and wanted to give up, but I can’t. I need to work hard because if I will stop working we will not survive. 

In order to pay for all our debts and to live with our daily expenses, I need to search for greener pastures. Because of this, I resigned from my first job and work in another organization with twice the salary that I was receiving. I was very happy because, with this higher income, I can gradually pay my debts. But in 2011, a few months after the birth of my second child, our house was burned by a big fire. All of our belongings were turned into ashes. I was so devastated and I can’t think of ways on how to start all over again.  I was very worried and I do not know how to start our lives again. 

At this lowest point of my life, I don’t know where to go, where to lean on, and where to ask for help. But as I keep on searching for solutions, I kept on asking myself, Why me Lord? Why me?. Just in time when I ask the Lord why.., my high school classmate visited me at my house and shared to me the gospel. At first, I was hesitant to listen. But he shared a verse from the Bible, that changed my life forever. It was a verse from Matthew 6: 25-27” 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

After hearing this verse, I was crying and I realized that all the answers to my questions are in the bible. This bible, which was already dirty, with a lot of dust and just stored on the shelves (without reading it),  is the source of wisdom of God’s teachings. If only, I dwelled on these biblical teachings before, I could have had a different lens in looking at my life… If I have only put my trust in God, all of my worries and fears will go away. I could have seen a different perspective and find solutions with a prayer. But it’s never too late, to accept Jesus, as my Lord and Saviour. 

After that encounter, I put God first in everything that I do. I had morning devotionals and started my day by reading a verse from the bible and meditate on it daily. These verses are the sources of my strength, energy, and knowledge every day, as I live my life honoring Him. I am fully equipped to face the day with God’s words.

“Study the past if you would define the future”, as what Confucius said. Today, as I look back to my past experiences I was able to look forward to the future with a big smile. Today, I was able to eliminate our debts (one by one) gradually. Furthermore, we were able to change our spending habits and save for our own house. Indeed, God will always provide. You don’t have to worry, you just need to put all your trust in Him, and He will give it to you as long as you ask Him. 

Persistence is the ability to keep moving forward, in spite of difficulties.”, as Byron Pulsifer said. Therefore, with these past experiences, I have learned that the key to survival in the different challenges in life, is to have a strong faith in God. Let me end with this verse from Proverbs 3:5-6,  Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways submit to him,  and he will make your paths straight.