Session 3 of Lay Counseling Traininglast September 12, 2026

 

Key Outcomes

The session focused on the five aspects of counseling (I-I-A-M-A) and the critical importance of active listening over giving advice. Participants practiced listening skills in breakout rooms and discussed the role of the Holy Spirit and self-awareness in the counseling process 123.

The Five Aspects of Counseling (I-I-A-M-A)

• Identification: Connecting with the counselee through compassionate understanding and identifying the real issues, while breaking down defense mechanisms like rationalization 145.
• Information: Providing insights or clarifications to correct wrong core beliefs, provided the counselor first asks for permission to show respect 167.
• Application: Guiding the counselee to apply truths personally to their specific situation, emphasizing that change must start with the counselor first 18.
• Motivation: Focusing on character development and using a gain-loss scale to help the counselee weigh the consequences of their decisions 1910.
• Affirmation: Validating the counselee's positive actions or traits to provide a corrective emotional experience, especially for those who lacked affirmation in childhood 111.

Effective Listening Principles

• Role of the Counselor: The counselor should act as a guide and listener, not a problem solver; in a one-hour session, the counselor should ideally speak for only about 10 minutes 212.

• Seven Steps to Listening:

  • Give up control and avoid distractions (e.g., cell phones) 2.
  • Suspend judgment and avoid jumping to conclusions 12.
  • Listen for feelings and dominant concerns 12.
  • Provide feedback through paraphrasing, mirroring, and summarizing 12.
• Emotional Validation: Counselors should "weep with those who weep" and avoid minimizing pain with clichés, as suppressed emotions can lead to physical illness 1314.

Counseling Guidelines and Ethics

• Self-Disclosure: Counselors may share personal pains to build a therapeutic alliance and provide hope, but must not take the spotlight away from the counselee 1516.
• Professional Boundaries: Counselors are encouraged to maintain a "Teflon" emotional barrier (psychological raincoat) to avoid absorbing the counselee's negative emotions and to remain a source of strength 1718.
• Handling Uncertainty: When a counselor does not know what to say, they are encouraged to pray silently for the Holy Spirit to provide the right words 3.
• Transformation Formula: Healing is defined as Awareness + Acceptance + Direction / Time, noting that while the first three are within the counselor's influence, time belongs to God 19.

Action Items

• Participants: Review recordings of missed sessions via Ma'am Chinke 20.
• Participants: Continue processing self-awareness and emotional issues through Modules 3 to 8 21.