Key Outcomes
The session covered foundational counseling skills for healing damaged emotions, centered on Jesus Christ's model of accepting, understanding, and caring for counselees before introducing truth. Key practical skills taught included the use of open questions, empathy vs. sympathy, body language awareness, and sharpening observational attention. Participants shared reflections on why God allows problems, and a lively Q&A addressed the balance between pastoral confrontation and counseling-style comfort.
Course & Program Information
- Program: Certificate in Community Services (includes LCT) and Certificate in Leadership Development, offered through ACAI 1
- LCT is a concentration subject under Community Services; completion of all four certificates leads to a Bachelor in Religious Arts 2
- Fees: One-time enrollment fee of ₱2,000 (permanent); ₱2,500 per subject 2
- Courses are accredited by a US-based organization in Texas; certificates also issued through Restoration Ministers / Lay Counseling Training (US) 3
- Duration: Community Services — 5 months + 6 months LCT; Leadership Development — 5 months core + 5 months concentration 4
- Facilitator personally recommended the program and noted it is affordable and manageable even for working individuals 3
Participant Reflections: Why God Allows Problems
- Deepening intimacy with God was the most resonant reason cited by multiple participants — problems draw believers closer to Him 5
- Suffering reframed as a gift and opportunity to depend on God and restore the relationship originally intended with humanity 5
- Problems purify faith and humble those in ministry, cutting through theological knowledge to what matters most — relationship with God 6
- Facilitator shared personal testimony: a cancer diagnosis transformed her daily gratitude and awareness of life 7
Core Teaching: Healing Damaged Emotions
Jesus' Counseling Model
- Accept → Understand → Care before introducing truth; do not "slap truth over pain" 8
- Example of the Samaritan Woman: Jesus bypassed her sin and failure, started with her immediate need (water), and only then moved to spiritual truth 9
- Contrast: Telling a grieving person "don't cry, he's in heaven" vs. "allow yourself to cry — God will bring comfort" — same truth, radically different impact 10
Positive-to-Negative Ratio
- Use a pie approach: ~5 positive statements to ~3 negative ones when engaging counselees 11
- Counselees already carry heavy negativity; adding more discourages them from continuing 12
- Begin sessions with genuine praise or affirmation — even small observations (haircut, punctuality) can shift a counselee's posture immediately 13
Resolving Inner Pain with Truth
- Truth must be delivered in love, not as rebuke or confrontation 14
- Preaching (confrontational) and counseling (comforting) are distinct roles — pastors must consciously switch between them 15
- When counseling, remove the pastoral robe; when preaching, retain the counselor's empathy 15
Counseling Skills Taught
Use of Questions
- Use open questions — they allow exploration of meanings, thoughts, and feelings 16
- Avoid closed questions (yes/no), leading questions (embed expected answers), and "why/why not" (hard to answer emotionally, can sound accusatory) 1718
- Avoid multiple/frequent questions — counselors are not interrogators or news reporters; irrelevant details (e.g., "which hotel?") are not the focus 17
- Preferred openers: "Help me understand…", "How did that feel?", "In what way did that hurt you?" 19
- First topic a counselee raises = context of the entire conversation; pay close attention 20
Empathy vs. Sympathy
- Empathy: Temporarily entering the counselee's frame of reference — thoughts, meanings, feelings 21
- Sympathy (pity): Linked to victim-hood ("kawawa ka naman"); counselors aim to move counselees from victim to victor 22
- Empathy requires suspending bias and prejudice, even toward lifestyles the counselor personally opposes 23
Body Language & Awareness
- Open posture (feet flat, hands relaxed) signals readiness and interest; crossed arms or legs can signal disengagement 24
- Lean slightly forward when conversation intensifies to signal engagement 25
- Incongruence between words and body is critical data — e.g., a counselee saying "I'm not angry" while showing clenched fists and dilated eyes 26
- Smiling or laughing while narrating trauma = coping mechanism, not indifference; the body compensates when pain is too intense to express 27
- No phones, no note-taking, no recording during sessions — all divide attention and breach confidentiality 28
Sharpening Awareness (Practical Exercise)
- Participants were tested on observational recall (earring shape, clothing color) to demonstrate that details matter — especially for counselees with childhood emotional neglect 20
Boundaries & Cross-Gender Counseling
- No touch policy as a default; limited exceptions (e.g., a brief hug with distance after established rapport, woman-to-woman) 29
- Strongly advocate same-gender counseling to avoid temptation and boundary violations 29
- Exception for gay counselees: they are often more comfortable with female counselors; transition to male counselor is introduced later to provide a corrective male role model 30
Action Items & Next Steps
- Pastor Jonel: Review the program primer and decide whether to take LCT only or the full course; inform facilitator so the sponsor can be notified 31
- All participants: Review the ACAI primer sent by Ma'am Jinky/Chinky for course and fee details 32
- Next session (Tuesday): Continue with attending skills — deeper conversation flow, additional practical skills 33
- Breakout room practice (skills practice) deferred to a future session due to technical limitations 31
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